Dear J,
Feeling drowsy on this particular walk. A cold spell has struck LB and with it all sorts of possibilities of disease.
The common cold finally got a hold of me (caused partly by a lack ot good sleep two nights in a row).
Been under (name of medicine) for two days now and feeling drowsy as hell. Which is probably good in some sense? I struggle to sleep. I envy people who love sleep and sleep fast and stay asleep longer. But this is just isn’t me.
Not even experiencing chronic insomnia could convince me to get better at it. I’m pretty sure a big reason for my suicidal ideations during my major depressive episode in my late teenage years was chronic insomnia. I couldn’t get more than two hours a day of sleep for more than a week. Writing this now overwhelms me, I had to stop.
Experiment
Buy a plant. Put it somewhere in the house. Don’t feed it anything. Write about it everyday until it dies.