January
After going through a not-so-easy process, which was both emotionally and logistically challenging, I was finally able to transfer to LB. I finally saw Lea after exactly 300 days. I finally saw friends I haven’t seen since the pandemic as well as friends I first made online. I experienced their welcome and support as I moved in and settle on my own place. Through them, I also made new friends. While in LB, I realized that I got a lot of realizations simply by staying here. The environment changes everything to my psyche. After seeing all the awesome things my friends and new friends are doing, I was challenged to ask myself: What do I want to do with this one awesome life I have? I know I am doing stuff but, can I articulate them well enough to declare what I want to do to the entire world? What is it really that I stand for? What is it really that I want to do? How am I doing what I want to do? How am I contributing? I realized that I was missing a lot of helpful feedback just by being far from creative friends. While I enjoyed a lot of the social gatherings, I also realized how much limited I really am with my energy. So I need to limit it so I can give it to the right people at the right time. While here, I tasted the good food of LB, streamlined my process of doing an annual review, and explored Craft as my new second brain app.
February
This month, I celebrated my 29th birthday at Danielito’s with Claire, Rem, and Lea. It was my first time to be sang with happy birthday by a band. The food was great there, but I continued to experience more food in Los Baños: the Orient buko pie (c/o Cris which I finally met), pesa by Claire, Ate Onyang’s chicken wings, and Satya Graha. That is all while I also experimented with cooking reflux-friendly recipes for my own. I also cooked and ate pad thai with Lea and her family to celebrate Valentine’s day. Aside from the food, it was also a month of friendships. I befriended Ate Mona, my new neighbor, which I later helped to find a job. I also bonded with Diwa for the first time by foraging and eating at Chelsea’s with her. While these was all happening, I was busy looking for an apartment to stay in for the long term. I found the perfect place at Mavina apartment. I had some initial issues with dealing with my land lady and the tenant that was leaving, but finally, I was able to move in at my new place. This month, I shared my spiritual history to Claire, which inspired me to write vignettes about my depression story. I also continued to translate Thoreau, released my annual review, and wrote a poem about transfering to LB. I also started thinking about my work—connecting and defining my field. Rem’s workshop on love triggered a long exchange and deep thinking about the concept, which also allowed me to share about my amoralism. Lastly, I worked on improving the security of my online data and laptop this month.
March
This month, I celebrated Lea’s birthday by preparing a gamified celebration that involved numerous activities that cultiminated to our trip to Lipa at Candlelight Cafe with Rem and Claire. It was Lea and I’s first roadtrip since the pandemic. I continued to bond with friends. I saw the Salungguhit exhibit at Umali museum with Pearl and the gang. I also deepened my relationship with Diwa by babysitting her cats. Through her, I met Cristian and his friends (Jed my favorite, Paolo, Alfonso, Jael, and the others). Through their project, I was able to talk about my own journey in art during the pandemic for the CCP archives. I also met and built relationship with my neighbors like Tito Jun and Ate Daisy. This month, I transitioned to becoming a father of two cats. I brought Shorty and Champy home then had them seen by a vet at the UP Vet Hospital. I also made big progress in fixing my financial system by learning about investing and applying at eToro. Since my reflux was still bothering me, I implemented Don Daniel’s program and improved my digestion. This month marked the 10 year anniversary of my depressive episode, so I continued writing the depression vignettes.
April
I was able to make large progress in nailing down the work that I want to do. I finished reading Dan Blank’s book and received a video response from him after sending him an email with a question. He inspired me to look at audience building in a more authentic perspective. He motivated me to research my ideal audience. This research led me to Jules Evans, whose readers I researched via the reviews they left in his book Philosophy for Life. He is the first person I know who called himself a practical philosopher and he seemed to demonstrate the work that I want to do. This research also led me to meeting Kerwin who is now my intellectual discussion partner. But none of these would have the profound effect that I had from discovering Craig Mod. By serendipity, I discovered Craig Mod’s work, which inspired me to go back to my roots, to what I already am doing, and to get in touch with what I really want to experience in my work. Because of him, I decided to restart my newsletter, write about my day, relearn photography, and be more mindful of my surroundings. Aside from these progress, I called Ate Mau’s family, my cousins, and my family in Pangasinan this month,
May
This month, I met three wonderful people (with their two fur babies): Sarah, Cris, Makiling, Acacia, and Lennon. Sarah introduced me to free birthing. Her stories inspired me a lot this month. This month was also a month of walking. I familiarized myself with the streets near my house, and finally able to follow through my project of discovering trails available around me. I discovered three spots on Laguna bay (two in Baybayin and one in Mayondon). I was also able to bring my friends in those spots. I also climbed Jamboree road once and discovered the most beautiful path in UPLB. I spent a lot of time improving my financial life this month. My focused study fixed how I managed my emergency fund, invested my portfolio, and understood insurance options. It’s not yet full proof, but a minimum viable system is already in place. I am also looking to improve cash flow by considering outsourcing my editing work. In terms of creativity, I was able to launch and maintain a newsletter: Lilim. It was simple enough for me to do. And being able to maintain it is working wonders with my self-confidence. I also experimented with publishing photo essays in FB and IG. My exposure to Craig Mod also improved by joining his Special Projects membership. I experienced growth in responding to Diwa’s reprimand and deciding to stop being friends with my ex again.
June
This was a month of the outdoors. For the first time in my entire life, I was able to see and pass through the picturesque towns of Caliraya, Cavinti, and Pagsanjan. I spent a day in Bumbungan Eco-park. It was also a month of new friendships and deepening friendships. I met Rom Factolerin and Tina Adartse and their beautiful abode at Bay. My relationship with Diwa and Ju also deepened, while my relationship with Rem was rejuvenated with my return to their home after more than a year of the pandemic. I also got to know more of the nearby landscape. I completed a walk across the entire Jamboree road and discovered Jose Drillon Jr. Road via Diwa and Ju, perhaps the most silent trail nearby. Through it, I was able to commune with Nature like I did in Pangasinan. In terms of my life work, I was able to publish my 9th issue of Lilim, deepened my understanding of photography, and studied good prose through the recommendations of Craig Mod. I am progressing as a writer as suggested by the email I received from Ruth David. Nevertheless, this month also had the most challenging issue I went through. I went through grief from money loss due to buying a defective iPhone 11 Pro. I was able to get better after about a week through the help of my practices and friends. I learned a lot about navigating government agencies that assist in these situations. Finally, this month Shorty’s skin problem was finally solved while I also intended to improve my skin care routine.
July
This month, I started reading the book Finding Your Voice by Les Edgerton. I was able to experiment with several exercises and I am starting to get a better image of the kind of writing I enjoy. I want to write autobiographical, research-based, philosophical, and practical writings in a sincere and earnest voice and not in a voice of an authoritative self-help guru or coach. I also spent a big chunk of this month studying photography. I finished the iPhone photography school and I was able to apply what I learned in real-world scenarios: portrait photography with Rem and Claire, and documenting two Hugpungans and Diwa’s clearing. After I shared my documentation to others, I heard really good feedback from people, and I realize it feels good to share photos and see people have fun looking at them. Aside from photography, I also tried taking binaural videos this month, and that is possible because I already have a tripod. The visual elements of my work definitely got better, and my walks have been more interesting than ever, especially because I am also uncovering new ideas and preferences about how I walk. Meanwhile, I felt like I wanted to go back to doing more research, and optimizing my life system, and so I decided to change the format of Lilim and start a new season using that format. Nevertheless, I experienced my second big loss this year this month (in two consecutive months). At the end of the month, I went through a period of grief after losing Doji. This persuaded me to seriously plan going home, which the new lockdown prevented from happening. I called back home instead and had a really fun conversation with my parents. I also want to mention that, this month, my efforts to find justice regarding my phone has peaked. The NBI is not as accomodating and helpful as the DTI. I am starting to accept this lost and move forward. I am feeling like I have done enough, and it’s okay to finally let go.
August
This month, I was able to move my project of making this house a more hospitable space for guests. I finally hosted people in the house. Based on this hosting experience, I was able to come up with a minimum viable plan to improve the house for guests, which I did.
This month, I also learned how to be more empathetic towards my friends, specifically accepting criticism and holding space for vulnerable braveness. And I got rewarded with praise and admiration because of it. Meanwhile, I might need to learn how to do the same with Lea’s mom.
I experienced my first pottery workshop this month. But it was also a month of new food experiences: lipote wine, garlic vine on peanuts, binakol, Homespun carrot cake, tempeh, Ju’s sandwhich, the best takoyaki around, Lea’s pork sinigang, and veggie spaghetti. Interestingly, me and Lea were also thinking about food this month. I was researching Weston A. Price and instituted an organic food regimen for Kako.
Finally, it was a contemplative month, made possible by a two-week long Facebook and Messenger detox. I was able to improve my reading inbox, think about my beliefs and engage with others about them, and realized how central my intellectual work is to my life and career.
September
This was a month of emotional experiences that were nurturing yet challenging at the same time. I went back home to Pangasinan to spend time with my parents and pets who I haven’t been with for eight months, and with my sister who I haven’t talked to for more than a year. I was filled with joy just being with them, but also felt difficult emotions as my parents were getting older, I am missing the dogs, and I am still awkward with my sister. I also went back to the abandoned house in Sta. Maria, which was a sad visit, but one where I really got to connect more with my father. I also celebrated an entire month of my second anniversary with Lea, which was filled with deep conversations and yet challenging emotions. I particularly enjoyed our trip to Lemery, supporting Lea with her podcast project, and talking to her about sexuality. I also made progress in my relationship with Rem, as we started exploring tough conversations bravely with open minds and hearts. In a more personal note, I grew tremendously in my understanding and practice of my zettelkasten and my life management system in general, my exploration of Covid issues particularly vaccination (finally), and my unexpected realizations on my problems with my sexuality.
October
This month was a month of strengthening my bond with Lea and her family. The month started by me and Lea talking honestly about sexuality. Then, she, along with my friends, helped me go through flu. After this experience, I wrote a treatment plan in case I get Covid. Also, I finally got to meet Tita Remy properly in person and even joined her in Quezon, where I met Lea’s relatives. I had a really great time and I think I did a good job bonding with the people there. When we got back, I supported Lea during her hosting of the Peso Summit, with which she is very grateful. I missed my family this month, so I called Ate Mau and my parents at Pangasinan too. I also started working on my finances by creating a customized spreadsheet to make it faster for me to review my finances monthly with less errors. I also continued training Nics to become and editor. In my studies, I was able to process most major notes from Evernote and transferred them to Craft. I also discovered Montaigne via Stephen Batchelor and explored his life and work.
November
This month, I continued to deepen my relationship with Lea and contemplate a life with her. I brought her to Pangasinan for the first time. We spent two nights in Dagupan, where I shared good food, walks, and memories with her. Then we went to Cablong where I introduced her to my parents. It felt good to see her interact with my parents and sibling for the first time. I felt that my family were supportive of my choice. It feels good that my family is supporting each other in some way. They helped me with this and I reciprocate by agreeing to pay for Mama’s meds and giving the Macbook Air to Bernice officially. Lea and I had great conversations this month—the walk at UP, the sharing about spirituality, revisiting the vaccination issue. As I continued building my relationship with her, so is my relationship with her mom and family. I spent a few moments with friends this month, but most of my social times were spent with Lea and our families. Meanwhile, I dealt with some challenges like talking to Lea about vaccination again and dealing with the flea problem at home. Nevertheless, I was able to continue improving my Talahardin by pruning underdeveloped notes and putting them back to the Inbox. I also realized the right direction for this project: get familiar with Zettelkasten and Evergreen note-writing then developed my personal system. I also made progress training Nics to be an editor. And I was able to improve my workstation, spending some cash on a monitor and a standing desk. I also cleaned the house really thoroughly. I was able to discover a few new roads in Sta. Barbara, the irrigation road behind Balon Kalsada and the road from Botao to Matic-matic. I didn’t create much this month and that is okay. The rest from showing up to the world has given me a much needed perspective in assessing my next steps in life.
December
This month, I was able to articulate my sharing strategy, which also involved updating my review systems (because what I review gets shared). I was also able to practice my improved Talahardin workflow while reading A Philosophy of Walking, a beautiful book that introduced me to thinkers I’ve never thought more about like Rousseau and Nietszche. Because I was inspired with this book, I took more intentional walks this month and wrote narratives about them. At home, I was able to finally resolve my flea problem and built a minimum viable workstation that has improved my back health. Still an extension of thinking about how I share my work, I started studying website design and development with the intention of relaunching the best version of vinceimbat.com. Along the way, I learned about Linux, the right to repair, and Jamstack. At the end of the month I was able to implement a new simple budgeting system to help me control my spending. On other things, I traveled to Manila this month to meet Lea’s friends and celebrated Christmas and New Year’s eve with Lea and her extended family for the first time.