On one extreme end of this spectrum, we choose our mate indifferently, picking a random stranger as a mate completely void of preference.
On the other extreme end, we choose our mate with an image of a saint, eliminating almost all mortals from the list because our standards are too high.
Both extremes are useless on the human project of finding a partner because both are detached from reality.
As humans we have likes and dislikes, preferences, and it is almost always to our advantage if we honor these preferences.
At the same time, it is also a fact that we live in a world of constraints where we can’t always have what we want. We need to learn how to compromise and renegotiate our preferences so that we could have what we want.
In choosing a mate, we want to do it realistically, through the middle way, we embrace the fact that we have our preferences and we spend enough time to define them, then we start looking for people who quite fit our preferences. Then, along the process, we negotiate, give up some nice-to-have preferences for the people who satisfy our must-haves.
This I think is a wise method of choosing a partner.