Inner silence between the lines W.S. Merwin No punctuation. The line breaks are the punctuation. Hidden musical
This is what poetry is: how to translate the musicality in line breaks and word choices.
If lyrical and formal, your word choices should also be lyrical. Unless your poem is vernacular, then you can use informal words.
”Sa malungkot na kalangitan” → It is telling instead of showing.
”Mainit” at “mainit-init” → ligamgam
Bitin ang dating ng mainit-init.
Imagine the reality of the object, when you find it is difficult to find a verb to describe it.
Nagpapasalamat - the poem has a feeling of terror attached to it and the relief from that terror.
Strengthen the dread and terror
The word “ay” ay sumasabit
Strengthen the setting of stage at “kung naglalakad na mga tao ang mga sasakyang ito
Patawarin
Hugas is paradoxical to apoy. We are visual so hugas uses water.
Longer lines have the effect that you are writing prose
Binalot → Niyakap, Nilambong, Natakpan, Nasilungan → Sakoban
How will the word approximate an experience without using too familiar or common word (defamiliarization).