be aware of our impulses and committed to countering them.

Start by interrogating your motivations. Pay attention to when you are seeking fame, prestige, envy, or admiration—especially from strangers. Before you post on social media, for example, ask yourself what you hope to achieve with it. Is it truly to amuse or inform others, or share something uplifting? Or are you hoping to inspire a bit of invidious comparison?

Second, if your motives are more fame-based than you’d like to admit, consider the value that following through would bring relative to the cost.

The benefit will be the dopamine hit you will get. The cost is in the reality of how people will actually see your post (and you): Research shows that people will largely find your boasting to be annoying—even if you disguise it with a humblebrag—and thus admire you less, not more.

“Who knows himself a braggart, / Let him fearthis, for it will come to pass / that every braggart shall be found an ass.” - Shakespeare

Third, ask yourself whether you really want to base some part of your happiness on the judgment of others, including and especially strangers.

to seek fame per se—to attract attention to yourself as opposed to your work—is to subject yourself emotionally to that scrutiny, which will inevitably end in disaster for your self-esteem.

Connect instead to someone who truly loves you for who you are, not just for the parts you hope someone might admire or envy.

The right rule of thumb is to treat fame like a dangerous drug: Never seek it for its own sake, teach your kids to avoid it, and shun those who offer it.