Data–Sierra Madre Ext.–Sierra Madre–Onyx–Ruby–Velasco–Ela–Pili–IPB–NLAI–Pili–Ela–Tiongson–Velasco–Ruby–Data

5:30 pm

Dear J,

Spent the entire day thinking about lyric essays and it led me to this walk. There is a fine line separating walking and writing. An essay is a walk. The more it meanders the more it tries to become an essay. That is to say, the more it tries to try.

Thinking about all of these brought me to a question, ungraspable: Why do some of us speak in a straight line while others meander? And this leads me to another question I’ve been wanting to ask you: Why be agnostic?

Writing this, I realize, is sort of meandering on its own. But I am compelled to ask because for more than half of my life, I survived without any need for poetry. I survived without needing to try—to meander. I mean, it’s like when I asked my friend the other day if she reads poems and she said, “If I like it, I like it.” It’s like walking without asking yourself why. So I ask, “Why now? What happened?”

6:05 pm

When do we realize that our choice to meander involves life or death?

A new tarp hangs outside St. Therese chapel. She died yesterday. She was 64.